* Good Advice
Lately I have been feeling a little, shall we say, upset? Mostly wrestling with my own thoughts for awhile and just trying to let them settle.
I hate being the last to know. This is the situation when the jokes on you because it makes you feel foolish. You believe in the truth, yet you come to realize you’ve just been living a fucking lie. Maybe the happy ending in this is the fact that I got out of this masquerade.
But I question if I really was the last to know? Sometimes I would like to think that with my intuition, I knew all along. And perhaps I didn’t want to admit this to myself. You know, it’s the whole self-denial protection feat because uncertainty, however distressing, is safe. At least in my mind.
It means the masquerade continues. But the show must go on. Without me.
I guess it just hurts a lot more when it becomes reality. Even for awhile.
And I just keep telling myself that I didn’t need the confirmation...I already knew.
I hate being the last to know. This is the situation when the jokes on you because it makes you feel foolish. You believe in the truth, yet you come to realize you’ve just been living a fucking lie. Maybe the happy ending in this is the fact that I got out of this masquerade.
But I question if I really was the last to know? Sometimes I would like to think that with my intuition, I knew all along. And perhaps I didn’t want to admit this to myself. You know, it’s the whole self-denial protection feat because uncertainty, however distressing, is safe. At least in my mind.
It means the masquerade continues. But the show must go on. Without me.
I guess it just hurts a lot more when it becomes reality. Even for awhile.
And I just keep telling myself that I didn’t need the confirmation...I already knew.
posted by miss.chip @ 00:09
1 Comments:
Ha??
Are you OK friend?
*Muah.
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