* Blog This. Read it. Make Sense of It. 'Cause I Sure As Hell Don’t Understand
It really sucks to be reminded that time is never on your side. Timing was and never has been right. And as like always and now, time is (once again) not on my side. But hey, there is no time like the present, right?Really, I am not even going to pretend to make sense of this. My current mood: uncertainty - feeling muddled in my own thoughts.
Seems like the past few months have accomplished nothing. Although indifference is what I have learned to develop (once again), what is this gnawing feeling that I have in my stomach? You know, you try hard to convince yourself that you are doing the right thing, yet, am I? You start to doubt yourself because hey, why does it matter when your feelings never mattered? Or that what you felt wasn’t right? That you are always the nth in line…that you were never good enough.
As if solutions are completely intuitive.
As if things are just that simple.
But still I get that I need to grow up and be mature. Life is short. I realize that it is not that I do not want a resolution. It is the mêlée. The questions and the dreaded answers. Yet, you cannot do things to make others happy, thinking that it will make you happy.
How do you go about it when you have always learnt to avoid it and run, to the point where you have become an expert masker?
It means you don’t have to deal with it.
And so it seems you've let it go.
Then why am I up now?
posted by miss.chip @ 01:12
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